‘A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.‘ Proverbs 17:22 ESV
One day, over a casual chat with my brother, Pavel, we were talking about someone we knew since we were kids. That person used to be fun, but now because of life and its challenges that person lost even the ability to smile. As I was passionately sharing with my brother that this specific individual needed to have fun and not let life overwhelm him… My brother got quiet (which is not always in his nature), and told me that I became just like that person. … Hmm! Awkward moments of silence followed his statement… even in my head.
I was preaching to the wrong choir. His words haunted me, in a good way, not in a ‘Friday the 13th’ movie type way.
Two years ago, when I became a mom, I took life too seriously. Well, life is a serious business, but I let the hardship of adjusting to older kids we’re in the process of adopting, who interrupted a perfectly peaceful 12-year honeymoon get the best out of me. Better said, I let the circumstances squeeze the fun out of me. And for those who really know me, they are painfully aware that being joyfully loud is part of my nature.
The Bible says in Ecclesiastes that there’s a time for everything ‘A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance‘. We all go through seasons of life, some seasons have more sunshine, some more clouds and storms, and some seasons are just blah . But, even the Bible says that ‘A joyful heart is good medicine…’ You only need medicine if you’re not well. So, a little laughter will do good, much good!
Laugh at awkward moments.
This past summer we were in the States. One day we go swimming with the girls at the pool. After many hours of splashing fun in the water, I go help the girls change in the locker room. One of our girls starts messing with something that didn’t belong to them. As listening comes hard to some and harder to others, I decide to give a gentle flick on the fingers to get her to stop. My hands were very wet and wrinkly from the pool, they were sliding as if greased with butter. As I try to flick, my fingers slide left and right, basically tickling my daughter’s hand. My very official moment of rebuking became a very pathetic mommy moment to the point where my daughter had to tell me a few times, ‘Mommy try again!’ After a few helpless attempts I gave in to laughter. We should allow ourselves the freedom to laugh at things that were meant to be serious, but turned into something else.
Laugh at public embarrassing situations.
This happened a few years ago. It’s Sunday afternoon. My husband and I have the honour to go to another church in town to celebrate their inauguration. Of course, since we clean up nicely on Sunday’s, we even put on some nice outfits. Off we go on our merry way. Since it was predominantly an African Church, we get to enjoy lively music, joyful movements, a very beautiful ceremony, but very different than what I was accustomed to.
At one point, during the offering song, people were going upfront singing and dancing. I wish we all gave that joyfully every Sunday. Since this happened awhile ago, some details are fading away. But, there’s one particular moment that stands out… and not just to me.
As we are all making a joyful noise singing, a good friend of mine comes and whispers a question in my ears. She asks me if I could help cut the cake. I immediately say ‘yes’, thinking after the church they will serve cake and they need someone to cut it and serve it.
Little did I know that in African culture, at very special events, there’s the tradition of ‘The Cutting Of The Cake’ where you have a speech about the cake and what it represents. In other words, it’s more about the speech than anything else. I was comfortable in my seat, when suddenly I hear the pastor say ‘Natalia Tully, pastor’s wife of the International Church will come to cut the cake.’ I was puzzled, looked around, desperately seeking for help. I even glanced at our great friends from Nigeria that were visiting this church with us. I surely gave them a good laugh.
With shy steps I go upfront in my cute polka-dot dress. I’m mentioning the dress, so that hopefully you’ll forget the rest. I take the knife and I start slicing the cake. While I’m butchering the poor cake, I hear a lot of whispers from the pulpit and the congregation ‘She doesn’t know! She doesn’t know!’ The pastor interrupts my moment of glory by asking a lady in the church to come to my rescue. There might have been some hope to save the cake from being fully chopped and served, right there and then, but there was no hope for me to retrieve from my embarrassment.
What a creative way to ruin a very unique moment in a church’s history. I didn’t laugh on the spot, because I had no idea how hilarious that moment was. But today I do, and so do my precious African friends. It was a spectacular way of learning to be humble and eat a humble pie/ cake. I wish I didn’t have so many witnesses though. 🙂 “Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honour and life.” Proverbs 22:4 NIV
Laugh with others, but not at others
- Deceiving someone is never funny, it’s sinful. One day, our youngest came home from school and told her sister that her teacher allows her to sit at the teacher’s desk during recess to play computer games. As I verified the information and my little one got busted for not telling the truth, she says ‘I was just joking!’ No one was laughing though. I know this is an example of what kids often do to get attention. But sadly, we do it as grown-ups too. The Bible say: “Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death is one who deceives their neighbour and says, ‘I was only joking!‘ ” Proverbs 26:18-19 NIV
- Mocking others is not funny, it’s offensive to others and to God. “Whoever mocks the poor shows contempt for their Maker; whoever gloats over disaster will not go unpunished.” Proverbs 17:5 NIV
- Hurting others is not funny. Under the pressure to impress others with our funny jokes, we tend to hurt some people in the process. It’s better to be silent and boring, than to be discouraging to someone else. A joke is passing, but the hurt runs deep and it’s hard to recover from. Laughter is supposed to put a smile on the face and not tears in someone’s eyes. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29 NIV
- Perverted jokes show your spiritual status. Growing up I heard a lot about this distorted thinking, that ‘Christians are boring’. Having clean jokes doesn’t mean you’re boring. You are actually more creative without offending your wife or husband. “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” Ephesians 5:4 NIV
- Trendy should not be mistaken for good humour. Just because a funny story, or a hilarious video goes viral, it doesn’t mean we should stop filtering what we say, and what we share. God is the one who came up with the idea of laughter and He never intended for it to be a licence to be sinful. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2 NIV
Things I need to work on:
- Laugh with others, but not at others
- Be discerning with my jokes
- Let tense moments turn into funny ones
- Go do something fun, it might trigger some laughter