Several times a year my husband and I have a how-are-we-doing-honey talk to evaluate our marriage. Regular self-tests are good in school, in relationships, but crucial for the health of our faith.
So, here’s a question I must ask myself “Who am I when no one sees me?” I’ve been reading the book of Luke, and Judas’ story hi-jacked my attention.
“And Judas went to the chief priests and the officers of the temple guard and discussed with them how he might betray Jesus. They were delighted and agreed to give him money. He consented, and watched for an opportunity to hand Jesus over to them when no crowd was present” Luke 22:4-6 NIV
Judas’ strength must have been numbers, budgeting and being a trustworthy mobile safe-box for the Jesus crew. A gifted man with finances, killed by what he loved most.
“So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.” Matthew 27:5 NIV
I strongly believe that “Our greatest strength is our greatest struggle.” Whatever we are gifted at, it might be the place we’ll be mostly attacked.
I heard it said that we have 3 lives: a public life, a private life and a secret life. When no Jesus- crowd is present… What videos am I hosting on my hidden app? What rough language am I using just at home? What thoughts am I getting away with? What delights my flesh, and repulses Jesus?
Maybe just like Judas, the Pretender, we walk with Jesus, we talk to Jesus, we donate to Jesus, we are surrounded with Jesus’ people… Outwardly we’re thriving, while inwardly we’re dying.
Am I facing spiritual anemia? Is my inside-faith just as appealing as the dehydrated, flimsy-looking carrots in my fridge?
“Long-held habits do not die easily. It will take intelligent thought and a great deal of reverent prayer to escape them completely.” With great care we must daily labor against those hidden sins, and be careful not to sell Jesus for the “30-silver-coins”. The devil is “delighted” to offer short-term joy, or whatever appeals to us the most. The evil one is resourceful too. But, greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world.
“Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” 1 Corinthians 9:25-27 NIV