I grinned a smile in the mirror. Then I didn’t.
“Not again!… Why my family had said nothing this whole afternoon? An awkwardly big-black pizza crust paraded itself downtown my teeth while at a goodbye picnic with friends from the church.”
My short legs fumed toward the family room. Before making a fool of myself, it hit me “I wore my covid mask the whole time”. My secret was safe with me and my mirror.
Since Jesus never wastes awkward moments, He prompted my heart to think of those many hidden sins parading downtown my heart while I wear my good-girl mask. And as long as my secret is safe with me, there’s no shame in it.
I don’t do big sins. And if they’re pointed out to me, I quickly repent. But like a drippy faucet I see no problem in grumbling, judging, staying complacent, envying, hosting half-empty-glass attitudes…
“Woe to those who go to great depths
to hide their plans from the Lord,
who do their work in darkness and think,
‘Who sees us? Who will know?’ ” Isaiah 29:15 NIV
Reading Numbers, I got convicted once again that God doesn’t see the size of the sin, He sees the offence in any sin.
When the Israelites grumbled about their menu in the wilderness… not having enough protein, it angered God. “But while the meat was still between their teeth and before it could be consumed, the anger of the Lord burned against the people, and he struck them with a severe plague.” Numbers 11:33 NIV
When the ten spies were negative about what they saw in the Land of Milk and Honey, it angered God. “… these men who were responsible for spreading the bad report about the land were struck down and died of a plague before the Lord.” Numbers 14:37 NIV
When the Israelites decided to sort-of-obey in their timing, not God’s… God said it was too late and they were defeated by the Amalekites and Canaanites. “… ‘Now we are ready to go up to the land the Lord promised. Surely we have sinned!’ ” Numbers 14:40b NIV
When Aaron and Miriam gossiped about Moses, it angered God. And only by Moses’ pleading God, Miriam got only a week’s worth of leprosy. “The anger of the Lord burned against them, and he left them. When the cloud lifted from above the tent, Miriam’s skin was leprous…” Numbers 12:9-10a NIV
I asked one of my kids if she’d brushed her teeth. She confidently confirmed with a loud “Yes, I did”. Thorough mom as I am, “I looked the horsed in the mouth” and the evidence screamed otherwise.
Trying to teach truthful lips for quite a while, she knew to expect a consequence for any lie. Then my daughter confessed “I lied because I didn’t think you’d give me such a big consequence for such a little sin.”
Oh how we deceive our soul even as kids, labelling sins into NO-NO sins and OKAY-ish sins.
My lips may fool the world in promoting me as a good-godly-girl. Yet, if my heart is parading and entertaining any kind of sin, I am fooling my soul. Too risky of a hide-and-seek game.
May our prayer be this week Psalm 139:23-24
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.